The Oldsmobile Delta 88 is a whale of a car; big, boxy, and beautiful, especially in the early models. It is the archetype of an entire class of cars with which I have been in love since I began driving. It represents the last of the gas guzzling behemoths which represented true American freedom, and for me, it has been Moby Dick. Okay, perhaps that's a bit much. I have not been relentlessly pursuing the Oldsmobile Delta 88 without regard to my welfare. I am not Ahab. But still, I wanted one.
To my infinite delight, while browsing craig's list for cheap cars for my fiance (a graduate student at ECU), I stumbled across a listing for a 1979 Delta 88, very cheap. The four word description to go along with the price and the picture however rang out an ominous warning bell. IT NEED A CARBURETOR {sic}. I am not a mechanic, and I couldn't tell a push rod from a roller, but I do know that the warning with which the car was bestowed meant this: It doesn't run. Regardless I was interested, and convincing my fiance that it may be a fun project car, I made the 20 minute drive to Kinston to look at the vehicle.
Though the seller was friendly enough, a more accurate description may have been: it needs a carburetor, battery, new rear tire, headliner, vinyl top, and major body sanding and repainting, at least. After several days of negotiations based around these facts, I finally haggled the price down to what I considered reasonable, and purchased the vehicle. The problem is now how to get it here, a problem which has thus far nearly driven me mad.
The Delta 88 must be towed because it is not in running condition. So I figured I would borrow a truck, rent a tow dolly, and tow the car. Simple enough. However, because of the Delta 88's weight, the rental company would not allow me to tow it with the Ford Ranger I had borrowed. The first snarl. Wanting to quickly take over possession of the car, I asked if I could rent one of their trucks to tow the car. Sure thing! Until, hmmm, perhaps the Delta 88 is to heavy for a dolly. And oh no! We have no towing platforms at this location or any other. Unfortunately after wasting 2 hours of my time (1 hour trying to remove their opposable digits from their rectums, 1 hour tracking down their "new" location via some poorly worded directions) they would be unable to assist in my towing needs. I was furious. With no time left before I had to go to work and a 4 day impasse on my ability to do anything (what with the other rental places being closed or at inconvenient hours to my schedule on weekends and a 2 day trip to Ohio coming up) I threw my hands up in disgust and walked away from the project. I did however get one small piece of of the puzzle sorted out. During my four days of removal from the car, I ordered my very own Haynes Manual for the Buick, Pontiac, and Oldsmobile full sized models from 1970 through 1990. Here is where the story rests now. I am in limbo. A car in another town to which I have keys and a title. A man without a truck to tow. Tomorrow may be a better day.
